Pick Up Lines That Will Get You Laid (Out)

OK, now assuming you are like every other person on the planet (aside from women, young children and prudes) you probably didn't notice the (Out) part in the title, did you. Don't worry, it's a scientific fact that 83% of people when they see the an article mentioning getting laid, will jump straight to the How-To section, and to be honest I don't blame them. In this day and age, getting laid is tricky. About 50 years ago, you could've claimed you invented the automobile and the sheer awesomeness of the claim would cause every women in the bar wanting a piece of you. But now, because of the internet, those easy ways of getting women have been foiled and now we actually have to put effort in to pick up women by using Plays (See future Blog Post) and Pick Up lines (on the upside, the internet gave you this blog). Anyhoo, getting back on track. I cannot guarantee these lines will work. In fact, I can almost guarantee these lines will give you a black eye... 
The lines that I will provide will be categorized into different pineapples... you know, just for Lolz. The pineapples are: Cheesy, Flattery, Innuendo, Straight to the point/Crude, Geeky, Harry Potter and plain Awesome ...


CHEESY

• If beauty were time, you'd be eternity. - 32% of success
• Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart. - 31% of success
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! - 2% of success
• You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. - 45% of success
• If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. - 36% of success
• Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW! - 42% of success
• Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT! - 26% of success
• When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. - 28% of success
• Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back. - On Valentines Day: 86% of success, Any other day: 19% of success

FLATTERY

• All those curves, and me with no brakes - 21% of success
• Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue? - 19% of success
• I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman. - 17% of success
• I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. - 2% of success (don't ask)
• Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess. - 24% of success
• What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off! - 100% of success (if your famous and (good looking))... 27% for anyone else.

INNUENDO

• I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand. - 26% of success
• Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. - 43% of success
• Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them. - 28% of success
• Help the homeless. Take me home with you. - 35% of success
• I've got a condom with your name on it. - 13% of success
• That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too. - 15% of success
• Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them? - 24% of success
• Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? - 52% of success
• Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get. - 34% of success

STRAIGHT TO THE POINT/CRUDE

• Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I? - 29% of success
• Fancy a drink? No, how about Bed and Breakfast? - 41% of success
• Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. - 19% of success
• Wanna shag? - 36% of success (you'll be surprised)
• I am a magical being, take off your bra. - 9% of success
• I wanna put my thingy into your thingy. - 83% of success
• Let's bypass all the bullcrap and just get naked. - Unfortunately, not enough
• You -will- go home with me tonight. - 100% of success if you are a Jedi or Sith lord.
• You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room! - 47% of success
• Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number... because he wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning. - 63% of success

GEEKY

• I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up. - 12% of success
• I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen. - 6% of success
• Need me to unzip your files? - 8% of success
• Want to come see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. - 10% of success 
• Your homepage or mine? - 4% of success

HARRY POTTER (If a Harry Potter Fan add 42%)

• My love for you burns like a dying phoenix. - 27% of success
• Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean. - 23% of success
• If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together. - 26% of success
• If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss. - 35% of success
• You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on! - 37% of success
• You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell. - 41% of success
• You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone. - 14% of success

AWESOME

• Bond... James Bond - 90% of success (trust me) 
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? - 47% of success
• The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name - 61% of success
• So....How am I doin'? - 24% of success
• (If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance? - 98% of success
• Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore; My face should be among them - Again... not enough

So there you have it. A variety of Awesome and Awful) pick up lines (emphasis on the awful). Use them at a bar, club or convention (for the Geeky and Harry Potter ones). Now go my minions of the Blogworld... GO!  Good bye and Good luck... you'll need it...