5. Batman - Whilst being fictional, this dude just doesn't give a crap about the bad guys and takes justice into his own hands.
EXCEPTION: Robin - C'mon, man. What's going on there.
4. Theodore Roosevelt - President of the Badassery. There are many examples of Teddy's badassery, but the most honourable would have to be... While campaigning for a third term. Roosevelt was shot by a madman and, instead of treating the wound, delivered his campaign speech with the bleeding, undressed bullet hole in his chest
BADASS QUOTE: 'Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight.' - Holy Crap
3. James Bond - Ignoring the fact that Bond changes appearance more than I change socks (bearing in mind, that's not very often), this dude has the most badass personality of any British Secret Agent... ever... OK, so in his earlier days, he was quite chill and didn't kill anyone, but he was still Badass. Hell, Bond managed to foil the evil villains plans AND sleep with the women that were trying to kill him... probably simultaneously.
MOST BADASS MOMENT: The opening to Moonraker features Bond, an nasty pilot and the iconic Jaws leaping from a plane and fighting for the coveted parachute. They punch, kick and spend a solid two minutes flying through air -- a stunt that would make Christopher Nolan pee his pants even today.
2. Darth Vader - I'm sure you all know Darth Vader (and if you don't... I suggest you leave), but for arguments sake, I'll take a moment to explain to you a brief history of the Sith Lord. As seen in the crappy excuse for prequels (which I am debating whether or not I want to acknowledge their existence), Darth Vader originally had the innocence of a sweet child, but now only seems to possess the heartless exterior of some weird robot type... thing. Anyway, long story short, Darth is one badass mofo who goes around killing people with his lightsaber (not an innuendo), choking people using the force and manipulating people using the powers of the Sith.
MOST BADASS MOMENT: Darth Vader Force chokes Admiral Motti to near death in a meeting of top Imperials in a conference room on the Death Star. He delivers the line, “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” to Motti’s open defiance of Vader’s adherence to the Force. Vader’s calm demeanor during the entire moment is just cold blooded.
1. Ted Taylor - Unlike the predecessor, I can almost guarantee you haven't heard of this guy. In fact, I barely know anything about the guy. From what I have gathered, Ted Taylor was a nuclear weapons designer. Well, the reason he's badass? HE LIT A CIGARETTE USING A FRIGGEN NUCLEAR BOMB. OK, now, it's not like he said to himself one morning, 'Dammit, where's my lighter. Nevermind, there's a Nuke here, I'll use that'. No, what he did was he used a parabolic mirror to reflect and focus the radiation from a 14-kiloton nuclear explosion in the Nevada desert, THEN STUCK HIS FACE INTO IT AND LIT HIS CIGARETTE. One more time, for those of you who were just temporarily blinded halfway through the insanity of that last sentence: A man once harvested the energy from a nuclear explosion ... just to light his cigarette. He survived just fine, but there's no word on whether he gained smoke-based superpowers afterward, so we're forced to assume he did.
MOST BADASS MOMENT: What, that wasn't Badass enough for you?
No comments:
Post a Comment