As you are aware, the education system has many different, sometimes silly, rules such as: No gum in class, wear the correct uniform, I before E except after C; just crap like that which won't have any effect on our education at all. Among these rules is a rule we have at my place of learning; CHIRP. Whilst not exactly a compulsory rule, CHIRP simply means, 'Check It Out, Highlight, Items, Read and Produce'.. I'm not entirely sure what it's there for, but either way, I don't exactly pay much attention to it; What I DO pay attention to, however, is my own personal version... one that helps identify what chick is suitable for hitting on*.
Check Her Out - Before you begin, determine exactly how hot she actually is. Find how hot she is and then rank her out of 10 (I do NOT do this, BTW, ladies... it is a VERY sexist thing to do and I do not condone with such an act) and then determine how she compares to you. I find it's generally safe to shoot for someone with up to a 1.5 difference in hotness. If you are a 7, you can safely shoot for a 8.5 or a 5.5; if you are a 4.5, go for a 6 or 3; if you are a 9.5, like myself (hey, nobody's perfect), it's usually OK to go for someone who is about a solid 10 or an 8. Also, take into consideration the 'Crazy Hot Scale' and 'The Cheerleader Effect' when choosing your victi- I mean target...
Highlight Her Best Features - Whether it be her Double D boobies or her long, flowing hair (no homo), it is always important to highlight and take note of her best features. It can be a selling point when talking about her to your bros and may come in handy in the future.
Identify Her Insecurities - Come on, you knew this was coming. Sometimes, it's also important to take note of her insecurities. Does she keep covering up a scar on her elbow or does she have a nervous twitch? Either way, you can use this to your advantage, either in a polite way or a douchey way (you can decide which... for my own protection, I won't help you out here)
Read Her Body Language - As you probably already know, body language is essential. It can tell you if she's interested or it can tell you if she has a boyfriend (I hear that is a bit of a deal breaker for some of you...). If she points her straw at you, even if she's talking to somebody else, it probably means she wants you in the bathroom stall... like, now, dude!
Produce a Play - No, don't go writing her some Shakespeare, you fool (See what I did there... no, just me?), produce a PLAAAAY. If you don't know what a play is, go buy The Playbook by Barney Stinson, it'll tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. If you don't have any plays, I will be writing up a few of my personal favorites in the next few weeks, so stay tuned!
Well, that's all for today my prodigy's, I hope to you well and sexed up (sounded less gay in my head, BTW) for the next time we meet, but until then...
*Insert Funny Outro Message*
*This article does not express the views of Brad or The Brads Blog in any shape or form.
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