How to Avoid the Friendzone.

Ahhhhh, the friendzone. Every man trying to bang a hot chick has been there. If you haven't ever been in the friendzone, it's probably because a) You're Lying, b) You're as Awesome and Good Looking as I am, or c) You're 12.
Before we get started, let's take a look at what the friendzone actually is. If you're a guy, you'll most likely hear the word 'Friendzone' tossed into everyday conversation semi-frequently... but what does it actually mean? In short, the Friendzone is an area in which males are put into by females when the consider them 'Just Friends'. You can be put into this category for every and any particular reason. It could be because you got to know her to quickly, she got to know you too quickly, you're Tasmanian... ANY REASON WHATSOEVER! It doesn't even have to make sense; I've had a bro who got 'Friendzoned' because he played AFL (I can actually see why now...). The Friendzone is like a spiders web. If you're weak and happen to be a bit too cocky or not very strong willed, you will get stuck and it will be damn near impossible to escape, however, if you're a bit tougher and you really put your mind to it, you may be able to escape the web and conquer the spider (sexual pun intended). How do you avoid the friendzone then? I'm glad you asked.

There. That'll help you avoid the friendzone. NOW GO MY CHILDREN! GO AND GET LAID!!

What's that? That doesn't help you escape the friendzone at all? I DIDN'T SAY IT'D HELP YOU ESCAPE THE FRIENDZONE, YOU FOOL! I SAID IT'D HELP YOU AVOID IT! 

The moral of the story? Stop coming to your Uncle Brad every time you have troubles with women, 'cause chances are, you'd be coming to me ALL THE TIME! Women are confusing. Deal with it. Go out to a club, hit the town, hit on new women. Don't get too hung up on just one. If you're having trouble working out what chick to hit on, print off a copy of 'Hot Chick Bingo' and get out there and have some fun!*

I'm just kidding guys, I just needed to sifter out some of the weaker viewers. If you're reading this than that indicates you really wanna bang this chick and who am I to tell you otherwise. It'll also show me that you are one of my avid viewers and for that, I'll give you a special treat. Keep checking this post because soon I will post a link to a 'secret blog page' that'll tell you how to escape the friendzone once and for all! GOOD LUCK!

Hot Chick Bingo

Once again, me and my bros were hanging out and, once again, they were all bored. While I tried to suggest awesome things to do, like pick up hot chicks or play some laser tag, they all refused, because... well, they're lame. So, to mix things up a bit, I suggested a game of my own invention... Hot Chick Bingo. Originally, the idea of hot chick bingo was to find 5 hotties, each with the 5 main hair colors; Blonde, Brunette, Black Hair, Red Hair and Obviously Dyed Hair.

To begin with, we employed a strict set of rules including 'the girl must not be with a guy', 'has to be in an actual store' and 'must be over an 8'. This proved to be very difficult because we were at the mall, and let's be honest, chicks that hang out at malls AREN'T usually that hot. After a bit of searching, I realised I was on to something, so here, for the first time EVER... Hot Chick Bingo.

Easy Version: Over the course of 1 day, you must each spot a hot chick with Blonde Hair, Brown Hair, Black Hair, Red Hair and Dyed Hair. Seems easy enough, right? Although, this doesn't really have too much relation to the actual game of Bingo, so I decided to take it one step further. 

Intermediate Version: This is for a more keen eye, not for beginners. I have happily created an actual Bingo card that you must complete over the period of three days (or at least three days on the town). This handy little card can easily be folded up and put in your wallet so you can play anywhere, any time. More stricter rules apply for this game; two squares CANNOT overlap and only one square can get ticked off at a time. For example, if you find a hot blonde lesbian, you cannot cross off both hot lesbian AND hot blonde, only one, so choose wisely. Now, you can either play it by yourself or play it with others... but either way, you're not really getting anything out of it, not like the...

Expert Version: You come looking for a challenge? This is it. The two games above me are for little kids or people just starting to pick up chicks, but this... this is the mans game. Now, because of the difficulty of this challenge, it can be completed over the period of one year. Much like the intermediate version, you must find each one of these women... but to cross them off, you need to go out with a bang... literally. Whoever completes this challenge officially earns the title of Brohammad Ali.